Father's Day

When I think of the ideal of the word "father", words come to mind such as protector, provider, role-model, teacher. I think of words like strength, resourcefulness and integrity. I think of the character of Charles Ingalls, Laura's father in "The Little House on the Prairie" series. The resourceful Mr. Ingalls could build anything, fix anything or seemingly grow anything. He would get up at dawn, work hard at physical labor all day, yet keep everyone safe and still have energy and patience left over to spend the evenings playing his fiddle, singing, telling stories and teaching life lessons to his daughters. It seems that he was able to be all things masculine and strong while still being safe, wise and loving. . . a seemingly perfect example of a father.

Whether Laura's father was really that perfect, or whether those were just her near-perfect memories of him, the truth is that most of our fathers were not present in our lives like the Little House father was in his children's lives. In order to make a living, most dads need to spend a great deal of time away from home. There is way too much knowledge in the world at this point for any dad to know everything or to be able to be capable in all areas of life. Dangers are not as clear as wolves slinking around the cabin. . . it is much more difficult for dads to keep their children safe and unharmed. Life is just way more complex; therefore fathering is more complicated.

When I was a very small girl, my father maintained a small ranch plus juggled 2 or 3 other jobs in order to make ends meet. In fact, my father worked very hard during all of my growing up years. . . to the point where I felt almost abandoned. Yet, on the evenings that he made it home and when he was not too tired or too stressed, my dad truly knew how to play. He taught me numerous card games. He would wrestle and chase, tickle and laugh. He would get in the car for no other reason than to go explore a new place. He was the one adult in my life who could really let go and have fun.

For many of my adult years, I have focused on how absent my father was from my young life. . .this focus was necessary in order for me to understand my pain and to heal it. However, there comes a point where it is time to rewrite the past - to stop focusing on the bad and refocus on the gifts that our fathers were able to give to us.

Therefore, I would like to honor my father for giving me the gift of laughter and fun. I would like to honor my children's father for giving them the gift of nature and the love of outdoor sports and activities. I would like to honor my husband for giving his kids the gift of music and play. I would like to honor all fathers for the gifts that they were able to give to their children in spite of the fact that none of them could attain that ideal of the "perfect" father.

Happy Father's Day, 2009!